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Something different

So, yeah.  It’s been quite a while since I posted anything on my blog.  The reason is pretty simple:  I had started a project, meant to continue it, and every time I came back to the blog I was reminded of said project.  However nobody is really clamoring for the next installment or anything, and it has been…8 months since my last post.  I think it’s time to post something different.  This post will not be a promise of any more posts to come, but at least when I come to the blog my old project won’t be staring back at me.

Many things have happened over the past 8 months, and most of the people paying attention to this blog already know the majority of things that happened.  A very quick glossing of some of the highlights:  a wonderful trip to the Pacific Northwest (including a sliver of northern California), two DCI related trips (one in Muncie, IN, and the other in Allentown, PA/Berlin, NJ (maybe more on that below)), stuff at work (which won’t be talked about, obviously), various adventures and mini-journeys, a daughter who is now in kindergarten, and…well, I guess that’s about it.  The rest of the stuff is normal.

By normal, though, I don’t mean unimportant.  On the contrary, the normal stuff is the most important of all.  Normalcy is sometimes supremely underrated.  “In a rut”.  “Just the same thing, over and over”.  “Things we keep doing”.  “Same thing, day after day”.  “Unexcited/unexciting”.  There are a hundred ways of saying essentially the same thing, which is simply that tomorrow is much like today, and at least part of us hopes that the following day is much the same as the one before.  That doesn’t mean that changes don’t occur.  You may be in a new job, or try a different place to eat.  Read a new book, or watch a new movie.  Finally win a game that someone else is better at.  Open your eyes to see something you hadn’t before.  Commit yourself to something new, or recommit yourself to something familiar.  You will (or at least I will try to) have new experiences each day, even if they are just small ones.

Even if I spend all of my possible vacation time each year traveling to new and exciting places (or old but still excellent ones), I will still spend 87% of my time in normal day-to-day activities.  And to that I am grateful.  Why?

Well, one of the reasons is simple:  without ordinary, the extraordinary is unattainable.  I found the trip to the Pacific NW to be excellent, fascinating, etc., etc.  Likewise even though the trip to PA/NJ was rushed it was overall a good trip.  If by some miracle I could travel all the time…well, it just wouldn’t be the same.  You know what I would probably be doing after the first few weeks?  I would be doing my best to routinize my travels to the point where things were “normal”.  That’s what happens; when you do things long enough, they become routine, and naturally lose some of the “excitement” of being new.  That doesn’t make them any less special than they were before, but you have work a little bit harder to see what makes them special.

And the other reason?  Because I’m immensely privileged to be living with my two best friends and a little girl who (most of the time) is wonderful.  And yes, before you say anything one of the best friends is my wife.  I’m not trying to make the relationship seem less than it is, rather I’m pointing out what I feel is the most important aspect of my relationship with my wife, i.e. that she is my best friend.  Yes, yes, I know there are those out there that cry out that a relationship has to have Passion! (at lot of those who cry out, coincidentally, are of the younger persuasion).  Bluntly put, I would rather have a relationship built 99% on friendship than passion.  What do you think you are really going to be doing most of the time in a long-term relationship?  Let me put it this way, the list of things you will be doing most of the time is much longer than the list of things you won’t be doing most of the time.  I trust I don’t have to spell it out any more than that.

Ahem, sorry, got a bit sidetracked there.  The point is that my day-to-day activities include people I would not want to be without.  Yes, OK, sometimes these are the same people I travel with, and traveling is that much more special for their being along (technically sometimes that’s why traveling is special).  But my “normal” is…hard to put into words.  I feel lucky to be around the people I am, to have the job that I do.  No, I don’t like having CKD, but you know what?  I don’t care.  That doesn’t define who I am, or my abilities, or who I hang out with, or anything.  Yeah, it’s a downer sometimes.  So what.  If it means being able to be in this life, this body, to be around and with the people I am, it’s worth it.

OK, well, yeah.  Not sure how to wrap this post up, since it has kinda gone a little bit of everywhere.  I apologize for the somewhat rambling nature, since I took the approach of writing what I was generally thinking at the time.  So yep, until next time.

Oh, as a footnote, you know what I’m also glad is normal now?  Spell check in web browsers and such.  I’m not actually that bad at spelling, but my posts would be riddeld wit prblems oterwise.  Jut saing.

{ 23 } Comments

  1. Sara | August 20, 2012 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    “And the other reason? Because I’m immensely privileged to be living with my two best friends and a little girl who (most of the time) is wonderful. And yes, before you say anything one of the best friends is my wife. I’m not trying to make the relationship seem less than it is, rather I’m pointing out what I feel is the most important aspect of my relationship with my wife, i.e. that she is my best friend. Yes, yes, I know there are those out there that cry out that a relationship has to have Passion! (at lot of those who cry out, coincidentally, are of the younger persuasion). Bluntly put, I would rather have a relationship built 99% on friendship than passion. What do you think you are really going to be doing most of the time in a long-term relationship? Let me put it this way, the list of things you will be doing most of the time is much longer than the list of things you won’t be doing most of the time. I trust I don’t have to spell it out any more than that.”

    Hi! I’m Tim’s Wife, and I approve of this message. 😉 And I’m very glad we see eye-to-eye on this. I feel like I’ve got more to say, expanding upon the theme, but I’m not organizing my thoughts very well right now (damned antibiotics). Maybe I’ll blog it later.

  2. Jess | August 20, 2012 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    I mean no disrespect here, but I do think that there is a difference between passion and lust. I agree that lust probably shouldn’t be the foundation of a relationship, but for me personally, I want a certain level of passion and that doesn’t necessarily have to mean what is implied. So I agree with part of the sentiment, I suppose but not entirely. Hm, maybe I’ll blog as well.

  3. Sara | August 21, 2012 at 7:28 am | Permalink

    Jess–Agreed–lust is a kind of passion, but not the only kind. Even interpreting “passion” in a broader context, though, I still agree with Tim that what’s most important to me about our relationship is not the passion but the lower-key, more sustaining friendship. It’s maybe a “too much of a good thing” sort of thing: passion is not inherently a bad thing, but to live in that state all the time is exhausting. Having a spark of passion is important in a romantic relationship, I think, but–maybe I’m too pragmatic here, because I keep coming back to: we have a life to live together even when we’re not feeling Super Really Excited about our relationship or each other. If passion is the basis of the relationship, where does that leave us when passion inevitably fades? It will strengthen again, but until that time we need something to carry us through, something to trust in, something constant and consistent. Which is why friendship is the bedrock of our relationship rather than passion.

    Bah. Like I said, this needs a blog entry of my own to do it properly.

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